HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I cannot believe it is already 2023. I’m seriously still processing 2020 and not at all ashamed to admit it. As we dive into the new year where everyone is setting goals and dreaming big, I thought this post surrounding the all or nothing mindset would be helpful. I’m a recovering perfectionist and easily fall into this way of thinking. Especially surrounding the things I want to achieve and I know I’m not alone.
For the sake of not being too abstract, I’m going to compare it primarily to the health and fitness trend because it’s a common area people tend to set goals in, especially at the first of the year. Let me preface it with this next statement as loudly as I can through the written word. I DO NOT BELIEVE IN DIETS AND DIET CULTURE. I’ll get to that at a later date though.
THE ALL IN MENTALITY AND WHY IT DOES NOT WORK
When someone sets a goal to do something like start a new diet or workout program, they usually say something like, I’m going ALL IN. We make the sweeping declarations and go for the absolutes by saying things like, “I’m going to work out every day without exception” or “I am following this meal plan or diet perfectly.” We think we just need enough willpower or discipline and then we can do it. Side note, I’m not sure willpower actually exists. I think with the right marketing and environment, even the most disciplined of people might falter.
Anyway, when something happens like missing a day of workouts or having the unplanned treat we feel like we failed. This can lead to giving up completely because you think what’s the point if you didn’t do it perfectly. Chances are, you’ve probably given this goal a try in the past before and failed. Sometimes we fail to start something because we think we can’t do it since we couldn’t do in the past. Fortunately, our past does not define our future.
THE BALANCE: LIFE IS NOT ALL OR NOTHING
Let’s go for different a approach and mindset when setting our goals by factoring in human nature and real life. When we start something new, we are usually pretty excited and hyped up. Initially, we are really motivated and it’s easy to get started. Then life happens and we slip up. Things don’t go quite as planned and we get completely derailed. Motivation will only get you so far. If you don’t start with the idea that it’s all or nothing you won’t be thrown off completely. If you have a goal in mind, start small and make little changes. It takes time to create a new habit. You’re in the process of becoming the type of person who does that thing (the goal you want to hit) and you’re just not that person yet.
If you want to be the type of person that is more physically fit and you’ve never worked out before in your life, don’t start by committing to 45 minutes every day or some strenuous workout program because you will burn out quickly. Start by doing something for 5 minutes daily or every other day and gradually increase the time. Don’t beat yourself up for missing a day because things will happen and you will miss a day. Just start again when you can and try not to let that pause go for too long though. You don’t want to lose the momentum you’ve created. These same tips work for any level your operating at. Maybe you’re ready for the longer cardio workout program now but not ready to lift higher weights.
The little changes WILL build upon themselves if you give them time and consistency. Just know that there will be days when your body says nope, not today or life happens. This does not mean you’re not good enough or you’ll never reach your goal, it just means you’re human. Dust yourself off and start again tomorrow. Plan for the areas you’ve failed at in the past or can foresee being a challenge for you in the future. It does not matter how many times you fall down as long as you keeping getting back up.
Life is not all or nothing and once you let go of that that, you can bring this new perspective to any goal you have. For example, I want to be the type of person who creates less waste. So, slowly I’m making changes like bringing my own reusable grocery bags to shop more often than I do not. If I was stuck thinking it’s got to be all or nothing to really make a difference, I might wonder why that small change is even worth making. I may never start making other small changes that will end up reducing even more waste. Instead, I’m going to celebrate myself for the small changes that I can sustain and build upon that are helping me become the person I want to be. You just have to determine what the balance is for you with respect to your goals. What new actions do you know that you can be the most consistent with that will bring you closer to your goals and therefore the type of person you want to become.
I hope this little perspective shift is helpful.
So, dream big and go after some massive goals this year! I know you can achieve them.
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