Balance

Balance

WHY BALANCE?

Balance is something that I’ve been thinking about for years.  Finding it, keeping it, losing it, etc…  The reason this became the basis for my blog is because I see its presence in many areas of our lives and in the concepts and thoughts that drive us.  In fact, I describe life, in general, as this delicate balance of everything because we are always teetering between too little or too much of something, looking for the “right” time, or searching for that happy “medium”.  This constant sliding scale between one end of the spectrum to the other or pendulum swinging back and forth.

With nearly everything in life, there appears to be this elusive balance that everyone “should” have.  In diet culture, it’s referred to as eating in moderation.  With respect to fitness and athletics, you exercise to be healthy and fit (or some other personal reason) or pursue an athletic career – but if you overdo it, you might get injured.  Another big topic is work life/balance. That never-ending balancing act of your responsibilities of work with that of the rest of your life, which literally includes your family, friends, passions, and anything else you want to do outside of work.  You’ve got balancing your personal self-care with that of caring for others.  Balancing motherhood with your identity outside of being a mother.  Taking care of the all the basic responsibilities and daily tasks we encounter to survive, like bills, rent, groceries, etc. versus living each moment in complete bliss.  Balance between thinking about the past, dreaming about the future, and living in the present.  Balance between when to speak up and when to stay quiet.  When to quit versus continue.  The constant pursuit of trying to improve yourself versus being content with where you are and what you have.  Respecting authority but learning to question authority appropriately and trusting yourself.  Taking radical responsibility for your own life and your actions but trusting others and allowing people in your life to help you.  Now, add in our huge technological boom in recent years and there’s the internet, screen time, and social media to balance as well.  Just to name a “FEW” things. 

After a deep dive into personal development these past few years, I have concluded that “balance” in its truest sense of the word as applied to a person’s individual life is an illusion.  What do I mean by this?  Well, this is probably not a universal thought, but I believe when most people think of balance and what it means to be balanced, they usually think of it as either dividing equal time up in a set number of areas or two things on opposite sides of a scale that weigh exactly the same.  So, if the scale isn’t in perfect balance or we aren’t devoting the time equally (like an evenly divided pie) in each area of our lives that’s important to us, we think we aren’t actually balanced.  Nothing could be further from the truth. To be balanced in our lives, we don’t actually have to be in this perfectly balanced state – much less maintain that balance. 

WHAT DOES A BALANCED LIFE LOOK LIKE?

A balanced life looks like whatever you want it to look like.  That’s both the downside and the amazing beauty of it.  It can be frustrating because you have to actually figure out what works for you as opposed to being told what to do, but at the same time it’s extremely liberating.   It’s your life, so you get to design and create it however you want.  Your individual balance is a way more personal thing than I ever imagined.  It’s not a one size fits all.  Everyone’s balance will look different and even different for the same person throughout various stages and seasons of life.  It comes from prioritizing what is important to you and how you want to live your life.  It comes from your values.  Some of which have been shaped by our society but others can be incredibly personal.  These subtle differences between all of us truly define who we are and how we prioritize and manage the major things in our lives and everything in between, down to the mundane daily tasks. 

HOW DO YOU GET THERE?

This is where personal development and self-reflection really kicks in.  You begin with awareness of what you are currently doing and then through tactical information you can hone in on your individual values and goals and make them work for you.  It is through this process again and again that you can find your personal balance.  Refining it as you go along. Unlike other goals, there’s really no endpoint.  It’s literally designing your life and tweaking it as necessary.  It’s through this balance that I believe most people can find their joy and personal fulfillment because they’re living a life that’s most authentic to themselves and not for others.  This is what I am working towards and what I hope to help others to do as well.

As a first step, I challenge you to sit down and either take minute to think about or journal out what lights you up.  What you want to spend your precious time here on earth doing?   Take “being realistic” out of the equation.  Don’t think about money or the practicality of what you want to do, just dream.   See what comes up.